Time

I've been having moments where I realize just how fast time is passing. Sunday I ran my last long run before the 1/2 marathon: Mother's Day is less than 2 weeks away. I can't believe I am running that race so soon. It seemed like months away not so long ago.

Xander is so big these days. I was going through his clothes and he just keeps growing. Soon he will be taller than I am. Not yet, thankfully, but sooner than I can imagine. He can still jump up into my arms and wrap his legs around my waist and arms around my neck, so I can carry him. And I am valuing that these days. It won't be long before this has passed us by. He's also going to school in the Fall. Preschool is almost over. Where did that time go.

Also, I was invited to my very first Mother's Day Tea, courtesy of the preschool. It is a special event just for the moms and kids. So sweet. And it feels like I have not been a mother for that long, but suddenly he is almost 4.

Speaking of 4...all of the babies born around the same time as Xander are turning 4. Shocking. Plain shocking. Time passes by and I hardly notice how long it has been.

And what about Liam, who is already 14 months. I keep thinking the snow storm he was born in was yesterday. Soon he is going to walk and talk. Then I will want him to sit and be quiet. It's the way of things. But time is passing for him too. He's growing tall, but I was holding him today as he snuggled into my neck and saw our reflection in the mirror. He's still little enough to hold with one arm. That won't last: time will speed by and he will be too big.

I look at Ray and realize we've been together over 14 years now and married almost 10 (in September), which hardly seems possible. I still think we are in our early 20s. Time went fast there too.

Ah, but life is pretty good and I am going to enjoy what I have during this time.

Counting: The M&M Way

Xander had a few M&Ms this morning for his snack, and Ray just asked him about them. Here's what he said: "I had 4. 3 and 3."

Part of me scratches my head. Since when does 3+3 = 4? Only in the world of a 3 year old, right. But on the other hand, I admire that kind of counting when it comes to chocolate.

Who Knew a Penis was so much Trouble

Okay, so as women, we know that the can mean trouble, but I didn't think that having a boy would automatically equal penis trouble. Seems it does.

First there is the whole issue of circumcision. We don't in our house, but plenty of people do. And lots get really excited about the whole debate. It seems to boil down to either you do or you don't to me, but what do I know.

For a long time the whole thing seemed only limited to minor trouble. My first little boy woke up with a lot of erections as a baby, which was entertaining. I coined a little euphemism for it: "Hey Ray, his flag is flying again." I would laugh. So much so, that now that same little boy will occasionally tell us (almost 4 years later) that his "penis is flagging". (I am giggling as I type this. Very mature, I know.)

Then we went through the whole naming the parts phase. "Mommy, what is THIS?" he would say. For a long time the whole thing was "penis", but my little explorer was not to be satisfied with that and we went through a whole week of talking endlessly about penis, scrotum, and foreskin. A very, very LONG week. I'm no prude, but enough is enough kid.

Since potty training was accomplishing (over a year ago, might I add), we've had a steady stream of "trouble" and discussion about this little appendage. Including instructions on how to stand to pee (out of my realm, I assure you, but my husband did just fine teaching him), shaking versus dabbing with a bit of toilet paper, and positioning of said appendage in his pants. He's had issues with putting it in pointing down. This leads to uncomfortable encounters with the 5-point harness on his carseat.

The list seems never ending. And I am just amused that the whole thing is so much trouble. Who knew?

Apparently, no me.

Despite the Exhaustion...

I've had a good day.

I have worked hard this week and managed to write a number of articles. More than my monthly average has been lately. And I have played hard with my children.

Today a friend came with her three kids and we had lunch and ran the kids in our yard. Sometimes I forget what a blessing that yard is, but on days like this, I remember why we bought the place: the backyard is like having our own private park. The kids had fun. Liam learned to crawl backwards down the hill, which was a giggle for me. And it was sunny and warm. How do you not love that?

Later in the afternoon, another friend called and asked what we were doing tonight. So I skipped my spin class to hang out with my friend and my family. We had dinner and talked. After dinner, we went outside and together we planted our little window experiment (broccoli, green beans, and tomatoes from seeds) into larger containers. There is a month to go until we can plant them outside. Xander thinks this experiment is a blast.

The kids went to bed with minimal fuss. And we sat around and talked about running, kids, crocheting, and other little bits.

It was a nice, nice day.

I'll just leave with some cute pictures of Liam:



There would be pictures of Xander too, but he is too fast and has spend time proving he is fast by zooming around the yard.

Oh...and I have officially signed up for the 1/2 Marathon in Mississauga on May 10th.

The Difference of a Few Days

Liam and Xander both had the stomach flu last week. It was not a pleasant week for anyone, to say the least, but Liam was particularly sick. The doctor thought he had pneumonia, on top of the stomach flu. Turns out it was just bronchitis. Just. But between the two, my little bundle of energy was a wet noodle. It was too much trouble to even suck on his soother! Scary times.

Thankfully, he has recovered and this is what he looked like about 24 hours after the above picture was taken:


And then on Sunday:

Yeah, he's fine!

If they can do it...

I run. I'm not the fastest person out there. I just get out there and do it. One foot in front of the other. And I am amazed, because I am probably the person you see on the street who is the one you think is the least likely to run a marathon (or a half anyway).

Then there are people who say to me, "I wish I could..." I always tell them "you CAN" and have coached a number of people online to begin to run. If I can do it, I really believe anyone can.

But this...this blows me away. If they can do it, we can all do it. Or do whatever it is we think we cannot do. We CAN do it!

Say a little prayer

Or send positive thoughts, if that is your thing.

One of the women I know in my online community is losing her husband. Soon. He was diagnosed with brain cancer in November and has been fighting hard since. He is only 35 years old! About a month or so ago, traditional medicine gave up on him and said they could "make him comfortable". His wife, Kellie, and his parents refused to give up and took him for alternative treatment. It seemed to be helping, but today Kellie has posted that he has days or hours to live. They are working on hospice care right now.

Gives a person a little perspective about day-to-day woes, doesn't it.

My heart breaks for the two of them, their little boys, and their families.

Adventures in T.P.

Just how much toilet paper does it take for a 3.5 year old to plug the toilet? I only ask because Xander has managed it twice in the last 48 hours. He is now on a strict "two sheets" rule.

And by the way, this was for peeing!

New Curses

When Xander started what can only be termed the "silly talk" phase, we started joking around and calling each other food names. Sometimes he calls me "butter". We've also talked about peanut, cashew, and my personal favourite, macadamian nuts.

It goes like this...
Xander: "You're a walnut."
Me: "You're a cashew."
Xander: "You're a..."

You get the picture.

Macadamian nuts caused the most uproar and fun. There was protest at first. Now he uses it with relish.

Today he used it as a swear, which had me almost on the floor with laughter. After all, we are being careful not to use real swear words around him, only to discover he's creating his own.

Xander (looking at his plate and yelling at his strawberry, which was not cooperating): "Come here! You are not listening...You, YOU...Macadamian Nut!!!"

Work...again

I have been pondering work lately. I need to work, or rather, I need the money. But I do also need to work. It's been bugging me.

I've been debating between applying for FT positions in my field and trying to get my business viable. I know that some of you will be thinking that it is a hard time to be looking for work. True, but there are still jobs in my field. I have experience. It would happen. And thankfully Canada is not as bad as the USA at this point for job losses, though I hold my breath on that one.

I've been working at my business for a little over 2 years now. I wonder sometimes if it is even a viable business. Am I cut out to work for myself? Can I druming up enough work? Then I remember that I have also had a baby in that time and a few small setbacks. So the business was not my main focus.

I mention all of this as background to my ponderings and frustrations.

Today I had tea and chat time with my friend Sherry. Sherry is one of those girls who will chat with you and tell it like it is. I like that about her. And when we talked, she said a few things that made my path clearer (thank you Sherry!!!). She said, "So you WANT to work." I didn't even realize that was a question on my plate. But yes, I do. And as I thought about what I really want and what frustrates me the most, it became clearer.

The worst part of working for myself is that I have a really hard time carving out time to work. As I said to Ray today, "I am frustrated because it seems like all the time is Ray's time to work, but there is never time for Laura to work." I've tried working for a few hours first thing in the morning, but the kids and Ray are upstairs making a racket and then there is some meltdown over something and I end up feeling like Ray is breathing down my neck, waiting for me to be done. He's NOT. I just feel that way. It's not conducive to writing or editing. I've tried doing it after the kids are in bed, but I am just wiped physically and mentally. I can do it, but it is beyond HARD. I'm past my expiration date (kind of like milk) by then.

If I work in the day, I have to have daycare. Believe me, I have tried doing it during naps and television. It just does not work. Trust me here. And daycare brings other issues of viability and finance.

Which is where I started thinking about a regular job. Regular job = kids in daycare and time that is carved out solely for me to work. Even if the work is for someone else.

But I don't want a regular job. I like THIS job and I am not ready to give up on it yet. So, at least I know that now. And now to find a balance. The greatest part is that I can stop looking at help wanted ads and feeling guilty that I am not getting my resume out to many of them.

Over the next few months, I am going to try working some hours on the weekend. It is not optimal, but it's doable. And I am just going to work away at the problems I am facing...one step at a time.

Gotta Love Daddy

The boys and Daddy are out and about this afternoon. I'm doing some work, which is part of why they are out. I'd really like a nap (hey, everyone is entitled to a dream!), but I need to do some work and last week was a bust for working with a house full of sick, snotty noses. Okay, okay...only 2 snotty noses, with the worst one being mine.

Liam has been a crabby little man the last couple of days. If you have a guess as to why, feel free to post in the commentary, but our current list on that is:

• overtired (this is definitely a problem, but is it the root cause or the side effect?)
  
• teeth
• ears (please, dear God, I hope not)
• weaning and separation anxiety
• just plain grumpy and telling us about it
• problems with the goats milk we are trying out
• any combination of the above

He's been up and down for 48 hours now, without much solid sleep. Ray and I are getting desperate.

I also had a long run this morning. 15 km, for those who are interested. Ray had the joy of hanging out here with the boys while I ran.

I'm telling you all of this to let you know the order of magnitude of my gratitude towards my husband for taking our children out for the afternoon.

Go Daddy!

Well, off to write and earn.

Quote of the Day

Ray spent a good chunk of his high school and university years gaming with friends. When I came back from Korea, he convinced me to give it a try. Low and behold, I had a good time and we have been gaming ever since. I've even done a bit of editing for the industry.

Two kids later and we hardly ever have time to think about it, let alone run a campaign. But Liam is sleeping a bit better now and Xander is much more grown up these days. (I imaging it won't be too long before he's old enough to play). So last night we started a new game.

If you've ever played, you know that often the first night doesn't get you very far. Character creation can be a pretty long process. It's one of my biggest peeves. I am not complaining about last night though, because part of the dallying was the five of us giggling and telling other stories and just having a good time together. Love that! I felt like a grown up with my friends again.

But the best part of the night is when Cedric was sitting there, rolling his 20 sided die over and over again and Katrina leaned over and said to him: "You understand the nature of random, right? You can't really practice."

Go Katrina!